saw the specialist this morning. after looking at my bloodwork (and my GP had got EVERYTHING possible tested for) and giving me a physical exam the specialist went right you have nothing physically wrong with you. There is only last test we have to do to test your adrenal glands, but other than that we can assume you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This is how you manage it.
strange how i thought it would help to know. and in a way it does. i could plan, and talk to dad about it all, and figure out how to live life.
but part of me is not at all happy that i just got myself another chronic illness to live with. one that saps my energy, and leaves me helpless. i dont want to be sick like this, not forever. and even though it wont necessarily last forever... i have no way to make it go away, and no way of finding out how long it will take.
so here i go, got another illness and another label. my sister complains about coeliac disease - at least when she eats right she has energy and doesnt constantly have to watch what she's doing, and not stand, and not walk
i hate this.
i was so positive before, but tonight it's just so hard to be.