Angel wings and making progress

I'm exhausted, pushing myself too hard I think. It's only 11, but I'm thinking of going to bed. I'm just...tired. I feel old some nights, even though I'm not even 20. I don't want pity, but every now and then it does hit me what it means to have this.

Some nights I just drag a chair before the icons and sit there with the Psalms and the candle lit, just in peace. I can't get to Church, but I am reminded of the company of Heaven, and that I am not alone. That helps. When I'm too weak to stand long enough to say my prayers it's a bitter pill to swallow.

I sound down here. I'm not, not really. Just so very tired. This too will pass. I've found the Psalms to be a comfort, and I'm trying to get seriously back into reading them.

I had class today, and this time I 'attended' lying down in bed, which helped - I was more alert because I didn't have to fight to be 'up'. With the phone by my side on speakerphone and the whiteboard on my laptop, class was in session and I understood the work, I think. I have an assignment to work on now, and so I'll need to get into working on that soon. I'm starting to get used to having schoolwork again. I'd promised to make pastitsio tonight, but didn't start it until about 5 figuring that I'd get it done in time for dinner. Heh. I forgot that bechamel sauce takes standing there and only working on it, you can't try and cook meat and bechamel sauce at the same time. So that took a while...and then I found out we didn't have parmesan cheese even though Mum had assured me that we did...so she went and bought some...and I got all the 'elements' (pastitsio is like spag bol&lasagna crossed) finished - pasta, bechamel sauce, meatandtomato stuff... and it was 8:30...and it had to cook for an hour...

We bought pizza. I'm going to bake it tomorrow afternoon, and it'll be dinner tomorrow night! It's Wednesday, but I'm not well, so the red meat will do me good. I'm being good, to those eagle eyed people who tell me that if I stick to the Church fasts when I'm sick they'll hang me from the belltower by my ankles! Lent starts soon, that'll be interesting.

Making pastitsio was fun though. If I'm well enough tomorrow I plan to do some baking, we need a bikkie (cookie) binge in the next week or so before lent begins, and I aim to provide plenty to eat! I also want to give a bunch to Dmitri's Mum for feeding us the other night when we were at his house - we had galaktobouriko (think vanilla slice, greek style) and yiros/gyros, home made and wonderful.

I'm trying to be productive. I'm sick of despondency, you can only lie in bed and glare at the world for so long.

Oh yes. I started this post because I wanted to share a picture of Peaceful Paradise, which I've made quite a bit of progress on :)


It's harder to get good photos now, and also I was losing the light, but you get the idea. It's getting BIG! I've almost got all the way across in the border now, just the diagonal section to go (but I can't reach it where the frame is) and I'm happily filling in stars, the sky, the moon (that curved line is part of it) and lettering. There are some pretty ornaments among the text that I get to stitch soon too, which will be fun :)

I especially like the stars, they are fun to stitch, and the angel is awesome. It's nice to have lettering that isn't just plain old Psalm 22 (23 to all you non-Orthodox), it's fun.

Anyway, I'm knocking off. Goodnight all!

I got tagged!

Apparently I am interesting enough to have got tagged by the lovely (and very quick stitching) Astrid.

So, here's the game.

Rules:

1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the Rules on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Seven weird or random facts about me:

1. I am Orthodox Christian - most people have heard of us somehow, if only that the Greek and Russians have weird but beautiful Churches. I am neither, but I attend a Greek Orthodox Church, and love it.
2. I got named for a prayer. My name is Kyrie-Eleison, which is Greek (no my parents are not Orthodox) and means Lord have mercy. We say it about fiftyzillion times every Church service, and most Orthodox people I've met find it hilarious.
3. I have two names. One is my legal 'world' name, as above, and the second is my Church name, as we take the name of a Saint when we are baptised. So my Church name is Kyriaki, for St Kyriaki the Great Martyr.
4. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This is not fun. Basically, it's like having a really bad dose of the flu, permanently. Yay.
5. I still live at home, with my family - my parents, and my younger sister, Belinda.
6. I am engaged to a lovely guy named Troy. We'll get married, eventually, when money sorts itself out.
7. I have country blood, and I'm happiest when I'm not in the city - preferably by the sea or in the mountains.

Seven people I tag:
Chiasmata, Sally, Blake, Seraphim and anyone else that wants to do it (I'm terrible at tagging)

Another week

It's Saturday night now, and I missed Vespers again. This probably isn't a totally bad thing, as I'm really not well. C'est la vie. I've finished about half of my current page on peaceful paradise now, which is fun - I got to move the frame. The angel is all done now, and looks beautiful, though she's currently covered by the frame. I'll take a photo on Monday.

The stars are the most fun to stitch I think, there are so many different kinds. It's not like the day sky where it was just mostly blue with the odd blobby cloud. Boring. This can get tedious, but it's worth it to see the glow of the stars against the background. Slowly, steadily, I am getting there. It's fun!

I have a new project too - I meant to talk about it before, but I got Father's blessing to do it first! My friend Νικος - Nikos, or Nick, from Greece, has asked me to stitch him an icon - Solaria gallery's icon of St Nicholas, specifically. This one:


And I asked Father and he said yes, so I plan to stitch it over one on 32ct...either silk gauze or jobelan, depending on what I end up deciding. Should be fun - he ordered the chart and sent it to my house tonight, and he's going to pay for materials and wants to pay me for my time, but we'll talk about 'time', when I've got it finished. I think it will be fun :) It's such an honour to stitch something holy...

Anyway, I am tired, and I need to go to bed. So I'll end now - I have Church in the morning, Sunday of the Prodigal Sun. Halfway through the Triodion, almost in Lent... Κυριέ ελεήσον.

School, Chronic Fatigue Style

Well, I just had my first lesson. And it went well. The topic is matrices, and my class seems nice enough - two other girls and two boys, and the teacher. I got most of the materials I need for this term in the mail today, and it ended up looking like this:


Why yes, that is my laptop, and my blogsite! This is my bed, too, btw. I do an awful lot of stuff from my bed or my stitching spot on the couch. The purple thing is one of my workbooks - they have the whole unit's information and excercises in them, and we just stick them in a binder and use them as needed. The teacher says to get pgs x-y done, and we do, before the next lesson.

The writing on the paper on the wall is a list of greek vocab that I'm learning. The bottom words that you can just make out are αρουραιος, arouraios (ai prounouned like eh in meh) = rat, and ναός, naos = Church. And yes my room is that colour. I like it.

When I get this mess cleaned up I'll take a photo! Lots of stuff is in boxes or thrown out now, I am being ruthless this time. I have to be, I'm not allowed clutter anymore.

Speaking of cleaning, this is what I'm working on in between attacking the pile of clothes on my floor:

This is my desk. I need to clear it off so I can use it for school! Most things on there are either junk or recognisable for what they are, the bag is full of spare dmc all in baggies according to number (if there are multiples) or 100 (if there is only one of a colour). It will find a new home, NOT on my desk. I just haven't needed a desk for almost a year, so it's sat languishing. Poor thing. I think when it's cleaned and set up it needs an icon of the Three Heirachs (patron Saints of those who study/teach), don't you?

Anyway, I'm trying to get things done. I'm very tired, and I should at least get a start on my math homework, and I need to get another assignment done tonight too.

I can has photo post?

I can!

I woke up when Mum's alarm clock went off today, so I've been up for hours. I'm glad I went to bed early for me last night, it helped. Going swimming just relaxed everything, I should do it more often. Being weightless = very good for relieving joint pain.

So, we had the Sampler SAL on the HAED BB this weekend, and I stitched Peaceful Paradise - a natural choice given my current obsession with it. My eyes are not focussing properly sometimes (a side effect of my illness that doc doesn't understand, yet) but I just rest them a lot.
Here's the after photo:

Just a little bit of sun-ray and eye left to go, and the top panel of this side will be done. And just a few letters, and the writing will be done for this page too! I've cheated a little and started the writing on the next page where it had colours, as I had the colours already in my needle when I stitched 'his' so I figured I'd be productive. I can't wait to start the next psalm, psalm 23 is lovely but I've heard it so many times it seems cliched on its own. This is staying on the frame for now, at least until next weekend which is the themed SAL (we like SALs, if you hadn't noticed) which is 'animals' this month, so froggy will be coming out to play, if I can tear myself away from my psalms! I really need to take this to show Father one day, he'd like it I think.

And in other photos:
Here's what was in the bag I showed you yesterday, my PIF gift from Sally


And here is a closeup of the little pillow scissor keeper:


Also, I realised this morning how appropriate this is - Sally, did you know that the Forget-Me-Not is the symbol for Chronic Fatigue? CFS is also known as myalgic encephalomyelitis, so forget "ME" not. :)

It's lovely, thankyou again. Now I'm off to try and sort out the pile of clothes on my floor, and get ready for my class this afternoon (on the phone)

PIF received!

Look what I got from the lovely Sally:


Drawn Thread's "Forget me not Scissor keep", and two skeins of the DMC satin silks. So shiny! I took a photo of the scissor keep, but it came out blurry and I didn't realise until the light was gone. So you'll get a new photo tomorrow. Until then, you get a teaser ;)

As to today.

Well, I saw the doc. Who looked at me and went oh..no...
See, last time I saw him it was October. And I'd just managed to get 'not-sick'. This lasted two months, and I've been spiralling since. So, now I have to give my rats away or keep going up to the falling down house on our property that we keep stuff in every day to feed them, and I have to have the carpet ripped out of my bedroom and relaid with floorboards, like in our living room/dining room/pantry/kitchen/hallway (it all sort of flows on from one another). I don't mind the carpet, in fact I like that, but the rats is sad - I love my girls. Champers lives down here in Bindi's room with Sosspiri, which at least means I see my favourite girl, but it's still sad. The writing has been on the wall for a while though. We changed my meds slightly, and discovered new complications, yay. So I get more blood tests and a CAT scan of my sinuses, and we'll see if I've exploded yet.

So I spent today trying to clean my room up so that we can rip the carpet up, even just to leave concrete until the floorboards are laid. I got a lot done, but my clothes need sorting (and rationalising, I have so much that needs throwing out/giving away), and my desk and the corners, and all other surfaces, are a bit...nuts, still. But the main part of my room is fixed! I'll be doing my lessons at the dinner table tomorrow though. I have my first lesson - maths, tomorrow, which should be good, and God-willing everything will come in the mail first. Yay school!

Tonight though, at about 5:30 we left and went to the beach - me, Troy, his friend Frank, Frank's gf JoJo and Nathan. After swimming for a couple hours and throwing seaweed at each other (we are adults, we promise) we went hunting for fish and chips, but at 9pm they were all shut. Oh well, we went to Glenelg (where everything shuts at 10:30) and got pasta, then icecream. Num. Frank drives like a maniac, but he's good at it, so we drifted a lot of the way home! Not exactly safe, but a lot of fun. And now I am dead, but happy. Going swimming helped, it made me feel normal again to be in the water, with all the stress off my body.

So, soon I will sleep. Today has been good.

Thankyou so much Sally, it's lovely. I've got it hanging on a doorknob at the moment.

Stitching and stuff

I've been happily working, and life's found a steady pace.

I went and sorted out correspondence school stuff on Friday, and that's set up - I now have 'classes' on the phone/internet three times a week for 15min-1hr, and work from workbooks mostly. Sounds good to me, now just to rediscover my desk! My subjects are Maths Methods (academic maths, but without the stress of the top tier math), Studies of Society (sociology YES), and Australian History (love love love history). So this should be good.

Today's the Sunday of the Pharisee and the Publican in the Church - the Gospel reading is really short, so I'll post it. It's a good story, even if you're not religious:

The Lord said this parable, "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

And here's the icon (which I really like):


So, it's one of the three Sundays leading up to Lent in the East. This one reminds us not to be too proud of ourselves, especially in our sacrifices and fasting - which is what we do during Lent. So, a fast free week (usually we eat vegan on Wednesday and Friday), and it was a beautiful homily this morning. Jeremy's away visiting his family (his Dad just had an operation) but I did get to see Nona (godmother) Nikki, and my parents came with me and seemed to like it.

Yesterday was just sleepy. Nothing much happened, we just hung around, and today was Church, and now I'm exhausted. Troy and I have discovered that if he gets to the knots in my muscles (which are really deep down, and he has a knack for finding) that the stabbing pains don't affect me so much, and so he did that last night before sleep (I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow) but it hurt a lot and I had a pillow I was hugging tight. I'm glad he did it though.

And tonight...well, tonight I'm just resting. Veg-ing and watching tv, So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight, and I plan to settle down with my stitching and rest.

Oh yeah, I took a before picture for Peaceful Paradise, too. So this is what it looked like Thursday night:

Letter writing and other fun

Well, I can't remember if I said. So, again - Troy and I are getting baptised on holy saturday, Θεού θέλοντος (God willing), which is April 26 for us in the East. This is dependent on writing a letter to the bishop asking and explaining. I'm in the middle of writing that, and it's...eek. However, my good friend Seraphim/Salvatore has threatened to hang me from something by the ankles for stressing over it (the usual threat amongst my Church and Orthodox friends) so I'm taking a break, and letting it be Troy's turn to write a bit (we're writing it together).

I am finally sort of okay. I got sick for a few days there! But Wednesday night I gritted my teeth and got needle and thread back out, and have finished a row on A Restful Night, but the camera currently escapes me so no picture for now. Yesterday I got the Whiskey WDW out and started swapping between a length of it and a length of something else on Peaceful Paradise. Half the sun's rays are done now, all the yellow lettering I hadn't done is done, and I'm filling in some of the sun's face with the needle that's currently threaded and in my work. Other than that I've just been filing in lettering - oh and the sky's done too. I've got about a line total left on page 2 to go (two half lines) and when I've got that done, presuming the gold is filled in the sun, I can start on the other half. It'll be nice to have the other psalm in, because everyone just goes oh Psalm 23 that's nice but cliche'd. Besides, it has stars. Stars are cool.

I'm also going back to school. Tomorrow I've got an interview thingo to set things up, but fourth time's the charm, I'm determined to get my SACE (high school cert) this year. I have two subjects done, I need five. So I'm going to do three, Θεού θέλοντος, by correspondence. So that desk in my room might get some work done on it after all! They send the work, you do it, and mail it back, with a phone call once a week. Sounds just about right, because I couldn't make it to a brick and mortar school, and my health is sporadic at best, and on normal days the brainfog doesn't lift until about 5pm. Today is a good day for some reason, but I can hardly rely on it being like this! So this way I can do my schoolwork in the evenings. I need to set up a timetable of some kind, or at least a list of 'must do's for each day that get enforced. My total lack of ability to stick to rotations gives you some idea of how well a timetable is going to work out, but I need to figure something out.

It's funny, my rotation. I have one. I didn't plan it, it's just how it's working at the moment:

• Start month working on whatever the current obsession is
  
• sometime in the week before 2nd weekend of the month, start work on A Restful Night. (for challenge SAL) Work on this until bored (usually monday or tuesday after the SAL)
• pick up something else, or Peaceful Paradise
• start work on Peaceful Paradise on friday of 3rd weekend (for sampler SAL)
• work until bored
• work on whatever, from the list of WIPs
• no starting anything new unless I stitch a row of ARN and still desperately want to start it after that
• chart stashing is fine, kitting is not, except in case of above

The list:
current WIPs:

• Peaceful Paradise
• QS A Restful Night
• Mystery X

SWIPs (slow works in progress):

• Dance of the Graces
• Noon Basking
• Tranquility Mystery Sampler
• Japanese Octagon Box
• TGOSM Mystery Sampler

and way too many new starts screaming but being ignored (for now)

...except that Periphaeria mystery that is starting soon...maybe...

This one...

should be much shorter. Though I say should, because the last one was only supposed to be a few lines too! Again, the same disclaimer. Brainfog is alive and well here.

Today isn't very interesting to write about anyway. Tomorrow I'll take a photo of A Restful Night, which I didn't get to finish the row on this weekend. I actually haven't stitched since Friday, I've just been too busy and then I was sick. But I fulfilled the requirements, and that's what matters. I don't want to fail this challenge this year!

I got the last skein of floss for Peaceful Paradise today, too. It's a lovely golden brown colour, and will fill in the sun, angel's wings and halo, and some of the lettering. So when I finish off this row of A Restful Night, I'll have to get back into working on it. I miss it just enough to work on it again now, and it's the SAL weekend for a sampler this weekend, so it's about time! Maybe I'll actually get this one done in a reasonable amount of time?

Today...I got up, moped around the house for a while, got Troy up, and then went back to bed. I fell asleep with my prayer rope in my hand, and slept all afternoon. My family woke me up for dinner, and then tv was interesting without taking much effort to concentrate on. Now it is 11pm though, and my eyes are trying to close on their own, so after eating a couple pieces of crumpet toast with golden syrup and butter (yum and totally unhealthy) I am off to bed.

Oh and for those interested - you crazy also-Orthodox and anyone else who likes icons: this is my patron Saint, and there was an icon of her in this particular style but full length at the Church the other night.



It's St Kyriaki, and I got the icon from here. You can find her story here in part but it's not the full one, I just can't link to a longer version because the only place I can find it on the net has it on a page with all the other Saints for July!

This post may contain...

nuts, brain-fog, and rambling.

Hi all, I just realised I haven't posted in almost a week - again. So here I am.

As far as stitching is concerned, I've been working happily on the frog'n'fairy aka A Restful Night, and have about 200 stitches left to go on this row, before I take a picture - though if I don't get it done by tomorrow night, I'll take a photo anyway as it's the end of the Challenge SAL on the HAED BB.

I realised earlier that I haven't posted about my illness in a while. I suppose that's mostly because I just figure it's better to get on with life. With the exception of the comment in my sidebar, you'd hardly know that I have ME/CFS+FMS by my posting. I don't have it nearly as bad as some, just enough to be a pain in the everywhere - literally. As to how I've been? Well, I've had an interesting few weeks. I got really really sick for a while, perked up for a while, and then the last few days have been ok brainwise but kind of painful. Being the stoic that I am, I've stayed off pain meds as much as possible, but getting up in the morning with stabbing pains along your leg and arm bones is not fun. Especially when your fiance goes to rub your back sympathetically when you say about it when you see him, and it's THEN that you realise that he's making the pain in your back better by doing that too...wait, my back hurt before?

As far as doing stuff though, I've had a good few days. Nothing particularly interesting, besides making Fassolada which is an awesome greek bean soup - and best of all, totally vegan so therefore totally nestissimo, a word that the greeks use a lot and basically means 'allowable during the fast'. The english equivalent is 'lenten' but I'm not as fond of it, especially since it associates with Great Lent and the time before Easter is hardly the only time we fast. Us crazy Orthodox... so anyway, that was dinner on Wednesday night for myself and my sister, who declared that she doesn't like vegetable soup and then ate the whole bowl. Mmmhmmm... No complaints here though, it's nice that she actually liked my cooking! It was also my father's dinner on Thursday night (we were all out) and then Troy and I ate it again on Friday when the rest of my family were busy eating chops and vegies. Not bad for one pot of soup, that probably cost about $10AU (about $5 US) to make!

Thursdaynightgroup resumed this week too, and in true Orthodox fashion we had a liturgical service to commemorate this fact. The 'small blessing of the waters' - a short service, with a ring-in choir (much to the amusement of all present besides the choir who didn't know that they WERE the choir until 30 seconds before we started...) and then lining up to be blessed by Father by being splashed on the head with holy water from a bunch of basil he was holding. I got called a 'distracting troublemaker', what a lovely way to start the year! Father loves to tease me, and I get called trouble more than anything else, I think. The study itself was on the Gospel of Mark, which we're going to be working through for the foreseeable future except for brief interruptions for significant feasts etc (I can think of a couple that might fit 'significant' in the church calendar soon...) and we got through the first 10 or so verses, in the space of about an hour. Actually quite good for our group - we are VERY good at sidetracking and tangents, and so is Father. Study also included (by way of this) the life of St Paraskeve in nutshell form, a conversation on whether Saints feel the same pain in death as Christ felt, why Saints glowed at their martyrdom, and a few other things...I forget what. And then we hung around drinking tea and eating honey crackles and toblerone, and I talked to Daniel for ages.

I plan to get my sister to make me a 'my invisible chronic illness is more real than your imaginary medical expertise' LJ-icon that I can use there, and on forums and stuff. It's just so wonderfully snarky!

Anyway. Recently? Last night we had double-vespers again - first at normal-vespers-Church and the second at a greek church I hadn't been to before, but is BEAUTIFUL. It was the feast day of St Haralambos today and our 'day' for Church starts at vespers the night before - and this Church had the relics of this Saint visiting, along with the abbot of a monastery...so, we went :) And it was great! Except for the really really long protestant-rivalling-in-length sermon, which would have been wonderful if it wasn't in Greek. Jeremy and Troy both fell asleep, and I settled down with my prayer rope and the psalms which I snuck out of my bag and went unnoticed among the service books. Apparently it was good, and I got a summary from an older guy I knew who speaks Greek, so that was good. The bishop was there too and so we kissed his hand, and Troy and I were introduced to the abbot by Father, and he gave his blessing for our baptism and spoke to us and it was wonderful. Then we had Church this morning, and sat around talking after, and then took a lovely lady home and she invited us in for tea, which we drank middle-eastern style - in tea glasses, with lots of sugar, no milk, and sage brewed in it. YUM. And middle-eastern fairy floss which is less sweet and sticky, and more dense, and yum again.

About then I came home and crashed on the couch. I may not had done anything much for a week, but the last day-ish has just totally knocked me out. So a rest tonight, and a quiet day tomorrow, I think.

Kudos to anyone who got through all this!

A Peaceful Picture

Finally I cobbled together the charger and the cord from another charger, which miraculously fit, and I have a camera again. YAY! So here's a picture for you:



Apologies for the stray threads :)

Today's overcast and grey, but I've got a cd of chant on and I'm settled down stitching A Restful Night. It's peaceful today.

You know you've been stitching on 40ct too long

...when you go to stitch 1x1 on 32ct jobelan and think that the threads are huge!

I finally reached my limit on Peaceful Paradise, and put it down. I'll take a photo soon, it looks wonderful. I love how it's stitching up! The sky is almost done - totally done for page 1, and very close to done for page 2, and most of the lettering (sans two letters) is done for page 1, too. Half the lettering is done for page 2. I'll take a photo when I can, but sister dear has still not found the camera charger. Grr!

I was forcing myself to work on it, and then finally realised that I really wasn't enjoying it. And stitching is supposed to be fun. So, it's all packed away now and I stitched on the fairy'n'frog for a while instead. I got about 100 stitches done, and hope to get some serious stitching in tomorrow. I want to see more frog!

I have a baptism date now too. God-willing, I'll be baptised on Holy Saturday - the day before Pascha (Easter Sunday) which will be April 26 - two weeks after my birthday. We celebrate Easter at a different time, long complicated story as to why. Traditionally converts were baptised on this day, and it's nice to honour that. Troy's getting baptised at the same time, YAY! Lent is creeping up on us too. Yikes. I am trying not to think about feeding myself, but the extra Church will be good. I'm somewhat addicted, I think.

My friend Nikos has commissioned me to stitch him an icon of St Nicholas too, which is very cool. I've wanted to stitch one for ages, and for someone else to pay for the materials and for my time is so awesome! I don't mind not being able to keep it - to stitch an icon would be a great honour. So I'll ask Father's blessing, and if he says yes then I'll have a new start...more over one, but it's a Solaria chart so it'd be half over one half over two. I'm tempted to try it on 40ct...we'll see.

Rosey Dawn is calling too, and I am trying to resist the new start. If I finish this row on ARN and she is still calling though, a new start might be on the cards. I almost guarantee that I have the floss for her...yay! Dance of the Graces needs love too. I think with DOTG though, I am going to mark the stitch numbers on the fabric. There are just too many big areas of block colour that get confusing with counting.

So my stitching continues. And life goes on too, slowly.